when i turned 18, i got on this scare that "i'm an adult now, and i could go to jail for getting caught stealing." so it ended for a long time, in fear of getting caught. lately, all of that has been irrelevant though. i just got back from publix after taking about a weeks + worth of groceries, and as of recent times, i've been pulling some major heists.
feels good, just kind of nerve-racking in the back of my head. i'm not going to do anything stupid, i only do it in places i know i can't get caught/know their policies on shoplifting.
but in the mean time, it sure does feel great, i'm not so broke anymore.
..if i could only steal beer.

BUY NOTHING DAY

is tomorrow!
fight consumer culture.

spanksgiving

i don't know why i always feel weird around holidays. maybe because the true holiday has been bastardized so far from it's original roots, and turned into a marketing scheme for consumer culture. it seems like this country is so bent on keeping an image that no longer exists, and was lost a long time ago. i'm glad as i get older i'm able to disconnect myself from this more and more.
i was supposed to be in cocoa celebrating this day with my sister/her husbands family, but i talked to my dad and convinced them how weird it was, and he said he just wanted me to go there so i wouldn't feel lonely, and expressed his wishes for me to come with him to new york. although, i'm not worried about it. either house would be filled with highly un-vegan meals, and annoying conversations about how i "need to at least drink milk or something." even being disconnected from this culture, there still are some things that i can thank jesus and the holy goat for:



and the girl whos farts smell worse than mine:



probably some other stuff too, i'm sick of looking at this screen though.

xoxo
gossip girl

traction reaction

nina came in to town last night, i think it might be about a year+ since i saw her last. today kaysie, birdie, nina, ryan and i went to publix and got caught stealing subs. the guy was an asshole, we walked away, end of story. i came back home and read this camus book that i got bored with a while ago. nothing really changed with that, i don't understand how the book won him a noble prize because he's an amazing author, and that book does not do him justice. i once again got bored with it and started on my "mood board" project. i don't really know what else to add, so i think i'm done, i just have to make some uglay face on him and then it will be done. check it out:


other things have been nice. i'm not used to not feeling lonely or sad all the time, it's good because i was so numb to it, that it never really effected me emotionally. it just was a constant drain on my mind, but now it's gone and i feel normal - whatever that means. although, i am pretty apprehensive because the girl that has my heart right now (very tightly, i might add) and who's been bringing me all of this contentment, is going to be gone in about a month or so. i wish it was easier for me to not get ridiculously attached to the person i'm dating. i'm too controlled by my emotions and it sucks. i'm really really not looking forward to her move, but it's too predictable i guess.
this will be the second girl that was absolutely wonderful in every way and will come to an end because of distance...awesome.

acceptance of meanings

it's a strange thing to become used to, sleeping in a bed with someone. it's been so long since i've had it consistently that it's kind of jarring to revert back to not having it - having to revert back to the imaginary idea that a body pillow is someone, as to not feel so lonely. i guess it's just more difficult because it's freezing at night, and there's nothing better than a warm body to cuddle up with and wake up next to.
this weather is really nice though. yesterday i made a ramp and skated it for about two hours. some little kids came up and asked me if they could skate it, and i got kind of nervous, because last time a situation like this came up, this happened:

but i managed to enjoy the session this time unscathed. i always liked being the older mentor-type for younger kids, it's nice to know that you mean something to someone. it also feels amazing to be able to skate for over an hour and not be covered in sweat.
i feel pretty productive today; after a night filled with strange and sad dreams, i woke up with this insane urge to draw. this was transformed into painting, and less than 3 hours of being awake, i'm halfway done with a new painting. i'm kind of sick of it already, it just feels good to have something new. it made me reminicse of highschool times where being compelled to draw surged constantly, i wish there was someway to enduce this, because it feels so good when it comes around. although, it's really way too nice to be stuck inside today anyhow, a good day to bring a sketchbook/book to a park and enjoy it for a while.
but now it's time to cook some food and feed my face.

internet generation

check this shit out.
i made a bliggity-blog so now i can say things that no one really cares about, but will read anyway to have something to do on the internets.

i'm in class now, color theory. our final project for this class is to make a 'mood board', a poster board that represents a certain idea/culture/thing. the first part was to make three potential ideas, mine were: death, western, and punk rock. we were then told to pick one of the three after reviewing them with the teacher. apparently western, and death/zombies are pretty common, but i feel like punk would come too easy which was the one i picked. i was thinking maybe jungle theme. show some tribal guys with their balls hanging out and monkeys flying around and shit. i don't know what to do though..