acceptance of meanings

it's a strange thing to become used to, sleeping in a bed with someone. it's been so long since i've had it consistently that it's kind of jarring to revert back to not having it - having to revert back to the imaginary idea that a body pillow is someone, as to not feel so lonely. i guess it's just more difficult because it's freezing at night, and there's nothing better than a warm body to cuddle up with and wake up next to.
this weather is really nice though. yesterday i made a ramp and skated it for about two hours. some little kids came up and asked me if they could skate it, and i got kind of nervous, because last time a situation like this came up, this happened:

but i managed to enjoy the session this time unscathed. i always liked being the older mentor-type for younger kids, it's nice to know that you mean something to someone. it also feels amazing to be able to skate for over an hour and not be covered in sweat.
i feel pretty productive today; after a night filled with strange and sad dreams, i woke up with this insane urge to draw. this was transformed into painting, and less than 3 hours of being awake, i'm halfway done with a new painting. i'm kind of sick of it already, it just feels good to have something new. it made me reminicse of highschool times where being compelled to draw surged constantly, i wish there was someway to enduce this, because it feels so good when it comes around. although, it's really way too nice to be stuck inside today anyhow, a good day to bring a sketchbook/book to a park and enjoy it for a while.
but now it's time to cook some food and feed my face.