this month has gone by really fast. it sucks to realize it's now coming to an end, which makes the reality of her leaving much more apparent. it gives me this really uncomfortable sense of feeling, my chest feels tight and i start to get these weird headaches. i've kind of been accepting it for so long that i'm numb to the thought of absence, i think it's just the loneliness that i'm so apprehensive about. i've come to know orlando as an extremely lonely city, and the amount of true friends i have can be counted on one hand, a number which seems to be dwindling away with time also. i just need to get out of this city for good, each day brings less and less reason of why i should stay, and it's just really upestting to face this, and not gain anything new. or when i have gained, it's so short lived, and is gone within months. it's hard to not be hopeless when you're trapped in a cycle like this.
in other news, i went to publix yesterday to steal allie medicine, and weighed myself and realized i've lost 9 pounds over a recent course of time. it kind of freaks me out because it's really really really rare for my weight to fluctuate this much. i've weighed around 130 since highschool, give or take 5 pounds, but losing that much weight within about a month or so kind of freaks me out. i know being depressed makes you lose weight, i guess i just didn't really realize how hard of an effect it can have on your body.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
i read it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think youre my friend and i hope you continue to hang out even after allies departure. its going to be a sad day but we can all get through it together.
Post a Comment